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Taking things up a Notch.

Emese Taylor, 24 July 2017

The first kiss is a magical element to a long lasting relationship and it’s outcome can set in stone a long reaching future of mutual happiness. For many though, this is often the most difficult hurdle to leap over. Your dates have been going well, you are regularly communicating and have plans to meet up again, but how can you be sure they are ready to move things up a notch and won’t be offended by your advances.

The simple answer is that there is no way to be entirely certain, but let’s have a look at a few signs to suggest it’s time to take the plunge and a few easy ways to make this easier.

Flattery makes us feel fuzzy!

You know how nice it feels when someone tells you you have a nice smile, a great sense of humour, that you seem very intelligent or interesting? Small compliments like this are a sure fire way of expressing your interest in someone, so be sure to throw a few in the direction of your beau to be. If they reciprocate you can be sure that the attraction is mutual and can consider raising your conversation level up to a more flirtatious delivery.

There is a fine line here. You want to make it clear that you view them as more than a friend and have other intentions, but you don’t want to come across as too forward or crass. Keep it friendly and fun. Be engaging and remember to ask questions that indicate your approval – mentioning how great they smell and ask what scent they are wearing and a few days later tell them that you picked up the fragrance whilst in public and couldn’t stop thinking about them.

Normalising physical contact.

Taking public transport? If standing then maybe allow your hand to be touching their’s on the support rail. If sitting then lean over to them, let your knees touch. If in the cinema then maybe you can rest your head on their shoulder?

Maybe you are at a music concert or noisy bar and you have to lean in close when you talk to be heard, your faces brushes against each other as you casually put an arm around them as you talk. How about a country walk and a request to hold hands?

Small things like these will pave the way to an eventual romantic kiss. Hopefully you will have gotten into the habit of a hug and a kiss on the cheek when greeting and saying goodbye. Be sure not to rush these moments. Let it be understood that you enjoy their touch. Maybe ask for another cheeky hug after the first had finished as you had “enjoyed it so much”.

Keep things fun, but non-intrusive and be aware of signals and signs. If they lean forward, brush their fingers through your hair and mention that they thought they saw a little bit of fuzz….you can be fairly sure they have just invented an excuse to initiate contact.

What to watch for.

If you are spending a lot of time alone together, if they are suggesting further meet ups, if you are texting or messaging at non-standard times and if they are laughing at your silly jokes then the chances are they are now just waiting for you to make the move!

If you are still uncertain, imagine your interactions with them coming from a friend or work college. Would it seem odd if they sent you late night texts and asked if you were free to go for a meal?

Despite the obvious signs, for many the fear of rejection can blind us to what is right there in front of us. Remember that confidence is attractive. If you are sure that the feelings are mutual then it is time to take the plunge. It’s true that the faint heart can not win true love and they won’t wait forever for you.

Take the plunge!

Sometimes all the hinting in the world can only go so far. If you are tired of waiting for that kiss or just not sure if they are ready for you to make a move, then maybe it’s worth taking a deep breath, your destiny in your own hands and laying your cards on the table.

At the end of a date, say something along the lines of: “We’ve been seeing each other a while now and I hope you don’t think it forward of me, but I think I might be falling for you. I just wanted to be open with you about my feelings for you and I’ve been hoping that you might feel the same way. Maybe you would like to take things forward?”

To admit one’s feelings in such an honest way, suggests a great deal of trust which will be very much appreciated and you may well find that your partner is relieved that this has been brought into the open and the future can be discussed.

If this goes as planned then seal the deal with a kiss! Congratulations, you can now move on to an even deeper level of mutual understanding. If things don’t go as you had wanted though, you will now know that this isn’t the romance you had been hoping for and in the worst case scenario you will at least have made a new friend.

This can be a period of great uncertainty. You are trying to win your potential partner’s trust and don’t want to be rejected, so plucking up the courage to make that all important first move can be a seemingly monumental task. Even if you have been dating for sometime, you might find yourself doubting the intentions of the object of your affections and if you have been out of the dating game for a while you are likely suffering from a lack of self confidence.

So remind yourself that it isn’t so far fetched to remember that they are most likely thinking the same as you!

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