Book an appointment 07943 621 149

Challenges on a first date and how to overcome them.

Emese Taylor, 26 June 2017

Wouldn’t it be great if every romantic encounter played out like something from a Hollywood movie? If running on sheer charisma you could effortlessly woo whoever is placed in front of you in a high end restaurant and have them eager for a second date?

The reality can, sadly, be somewhat different. We can get tongue tied, feel uncomfortable and in the worst case end up wishing that we were anywhere other than in the very place we have tried so hard to place ourselves.

Do not fear. As you might expect we have got a few tips for you, to give you a nudge in the right direction and a little dose of much needed confidence.

Make a splash!

It has been said that people will form a long lasting impression of someone within the first seconds of meeting them, which will play an essential part in all future interactions.

With that in mind, it’s important to make those first few seconds count. A smile, a clear and confident voice and maybe even a kiss on the cheek will immediately paint you as outgoing and confident, two highly desirable traits in a potential partner.

Brush up on your banter.

An awkward silence. Terrible. Whilst gaps and pauses in the conversation are to be expected, if either of you are finding the time to inspect the carpet or admire the light fittings then something is going wrong.

Before the date, imagine yourself in the situation and consider a few potential topics to keep conversation sparkling. A few interesting anecdotes from your past, discussion about your favourite book or movie, something about your hobbies and interests or talk about exotic locations you have traveled too.

Not only will these keep things ticking over nicely, but will also help paint a picture of you as a person with a diverse set of interests and a sure bet for fun-times in the future.

But maybe avoid talking about…

No one wants to hear about an ex partner on a date. No one. This will only demonstrate that you still have someone else in your thoughts, that you are not serious about moving on and that you are probably comparing your date with a ghost from the past.

No matter if you are being complimentary or spiteful in the things you say, either option will reflect very badly on you, so save your memories for another time and look to the future.

Questions, questions, questions.

We all like it when people take an interest in us. It makes us feel special, wanted, desirable, and a good way to show interest is to ask questions and show curiosity.

Now, we’re not conducting an interview here and you are still wanting to keep things light so choose your inquiries wisely. A good question will spark further conversation also and be sure to follow up on answers you receive. For example, asking someone their favourite holiday destination and then further questions about the food, the weather, the locals, if they would recommend it etc etc

Do try to keep things light though. At this stage it is most likely unwise to ask any questions that are too personal and you want to keep things feeling natural rather than an interrogation.

Be yourself.

There will be times when you just click with someone and your chemistry together will cause sparks to fly. On these occasions you can sometimes throw the rulebook away and let the conversation take you where it will, but it never hurts to have a few tips and pointers in the back of your mind.

We hope that this advice helps you through a few awkward first encounters but if you do need some more guidance then why not get in touch with The London Love School and see what else we can do to help?

Low Self Esteem or Falling Out of Love with Yourself.

It's often said that we can be our own worst enemies and this is never the more the case than when it comes to our mental health and well being.

Dating During the Christmas Period.

Christmas can be a stressful time for everyone. For those in an established relationship, the traumas of arranging celebrations and negotiating the often difficult path of family affairs can be a trial unto themselves and those who find themselves single can also find the festive period to be a difficult time for them.

Common Fears in a Relationship and how to Conquer them.

For many of us, a lasting relationship is a primary aspiration. For some, this will be due to their desire for companionship, for others a pursuit that results in children of their own. It is not uncommon for a relationship to be viewed as a culmination of everything one has worked towards; studying hard for a good education, striving for progression in the work place and building a comfortable home can all be seen as pieces to a larger puzzle that make up the foundations of a solid relationship.

Forgiving After a Betrayal.

To be cheated on by your partner, someone to whom you have given your trust and your love is a terrible betrayal. More than just a thoughtless act, it sets in motion a series of complex and increasingly toxic feelings, breaking down everything you have worked so hard to nurture and causing deep wounds that many simply can't recover from.