Many of the concepts of Love that are familiar to us today were initially described by the ancient Greeks and these archetypes have stayed with us and evolved into our current understanding of our affectionate emotions.
These described forms encompass all types of love, from that directed towards our romantic partners, to our feelings for our friends, our family and even ourselves.
For our purposes today, let’s take a look at a few of the forms of romantic attachment so that we can better understand our feelings towards those whom we are attracted to.
The first instance of our affectionate feelings will most likely take the form of a crush. This occurs when we first meet someone and we feel an intense attraction to them, often based on a psychical appeal. We will experience an uncontrollable desire to be around the object of our affection and will find ourselves idealizing them and everything about them.
Crushes are often viewed as a childish emotion and associated with an early life experience of love, but the truth of things is that we will continue to feel crushes towards people throughout our lives, though the words we use to describe this will often change.
A crush is also often a one-sided affair that doesn’t require the participation or approval of another to experience and can lead to a state of unrequited love.
This is a situation where one person feels intense and all consuming passion for someone else who does not return those feelings. Sadly this is all too common as there are many factors that dictate when we are able to fall in love and who with. As heartbreaking as this is, it makes us appreciate the times when our love is reciprocated and value our genuine connections.
A passionate form of love will be driven by our need for sexual intimacy. We will find ourselves unable to keep our hands off of our partners and will often go out of our way to spend as much “alone time” as possible with them.
This form of love usually occurs towards the start of a relationship when we are newly acquainted with a partner. It is not uncommon for these feelings to fade over time and for many this can be hard to deal with as the memories of lust-filled evenings are replaced with more mundane day to day routines.
Ideally though, this can develop and evolve into a more sustainable form of affection, that being Romantic love.
This is the state which those seeking a fruitful relationship are most likely seeking. It is the notion of which countless songs, plays, poems and other works of art have been dedicated, the feeling when we experience the flutter of butterflies in our stomachs, the colours of the world seem brighter and more vibrant for us and we are content in our feelings for our partners.
This is the love that our crushes and infatuations will hope to blossom towards and many, even unconsciously, will gear their lives towards it’s attainment. A lucrative job, high social standing, impressive talents and abilities – all of these things we aspire towards will play a key factor in attracting and keeping a valuable partner and as such, Romantic love can act as a driving force in our day to day decisions.
Such an importance has been placed on this kind of love that for many if they are not in this situation they will feel a deep sense of emptiness. For others, the thought of losing this state of being can be a terrible concept, so they will struggle to hold onto their relationships and fix any issues that may be getting in the way of their happiness.
At the London Love School, our goal is to help you not only find love, but also to re-enforce and repair the love you already have. Don’t hesitate to get in touch if you have any concerns regarding your own romantic engagements and we would be happy to talk more about how we can assist you.